I love your use of the word spark. So many people use that word to desicrbe their connection with a potential or current spouse, especially when giving reasons to be with that person or why that person may be perfect for them. I have been realizing this lately; that I have so often in my life relied on someone else for my spark. I often have felt alone and miserable if I havent had someone to supply that spark for me. My fiance hasnt and doesn't always give me that spark, and I am slowly learning that I need to supply that for myself. He is not responsible for my happiness.In coming to this realization, I started really trying to figure out what this spark was. I believe that sometimes this spark is an instant connection, but not necessarily a healthy one. It is often the result of finding someone who has a quality that we do not have finding someone who fulfills us or completes us, or so it seems. This is not a real connection, it is merely a sense of feeling fulfilled by someone else which is certainly not a healthy characteristic of a relationship. The real connection is made up of someone whom you value, respect, and admire and vice versa. You have the same values and same goals, you are compatible and you know that they will love you and take care of you and you can return that love (action, not feeling). If we are relying on that spark (which will never be there forever), then we are doomed. We have to learn to provide the spark for ourselves and bring it into the relationship (not the other way around). I like the vision of three candles. One candle represents the relationship or the coming together of two people, the other two each represent one person in the relationship. The 2 candles are lit, and together they light the third candle. When both people learn to ignite their own spark and they bring it to the relationship, love and intimacy will bloom and the real, deep down, true love will bloom. This is a long process to be sure, but worth it.